at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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