i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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