He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
