Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I DEMAND FORESKIN
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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