She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
