dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
