walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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