i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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