What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
