my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Randomize
