I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
