Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize