I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize