think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
