Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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