im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
