i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize