meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So much rum. So many feels.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
