it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
