Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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