where am i from again
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
