if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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