you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize
