check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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