The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
