I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
