i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
you never un-have a 4some
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
