Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
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