He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
