i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
