The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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