Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
