what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
