I wannas sexs uuuuu
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
