i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
