In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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