Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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