I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
