So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
