This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
