Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
