Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
