atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
