exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
