the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
