If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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