My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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