Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
i've created a new STD.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize