The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
