That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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