barbara walters just said penis...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
