Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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