I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
