i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
