There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
