Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
