I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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