She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me š
You kept saying ākekeā over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case youāre wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
