dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
