So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
