if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
