I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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